It sounds like common sense to say that to be a good leader of others, you must be a good leader of yourself. But the research shows that this common sense just isn’t common enough. For example, one key part of self-leadership is self-awareness. But in a large-scale research project by the psychologist Tasha Eurich, she showed that just 10-15% of leaders score highly in self-awareness.

To learn more about self-leadership, I had the chance to interview leadership expert and bestselling author, Heather R. Younger, J.D., CSP. She wrote the book, The Art of Self Leadership.

What Exactly Is Self-Leadership?

“Self-leadership is not about achieving perfection or mastering every skill; it’s about embarking on a transformative journey,” Younger explained. “It’s a commitment to grow inwardly so that we can shine outwardly, spiraling upward through self-awareness, resilience, and purposeful action. In today’s chaotic world, where challenges come from all directions, self-leadership is the anchor that keeps us steady, the compass that guides our growth, and the bridge that connects us to others.”

Younger was also careful to note what self-leadership isn’t. “Self-leadership doesn’t mean that you must lead in life and at work all by yourself. Involving others is a key to be successful in the journey,” Younger said.

She then broke down her three-step process to improve your self-leadership skills.

A 3-Step Framework To Spark Your Self-Leadership Journey

At the core of this three-step self-leadership framework is an invitation by Younger to “stop waiting for others go give you the greenlight.” The framework focuses on self-understanding, personal growth and sustainability, and social interaction and influence.

Here’s how you can apply it in your life and work.

1. Self-Understanding: The Foundation of Leadership

You can’t lead yourself—or anyone else—without knowing who you are. Self-leadership begins with deep self-understanding, a process that involves exploring your intrinsic worth, recognizing your limitations, and confronting your fears.

• Understanding Your Intrinsic Worth: Many of us tie our value to external achievements or the validation of others. But self-leadership begins with recognizing that your worth is inherent. When you embrace your value, you build the confidence to face challenges with clarity and conviction.
• Identifying Limitations and Facing Fear: Fear is often the unseen barrier that holds us back. By acknowledging your fears and understanding their roots, you can begin to address them instead of letting them control you. Similarly, identifying your limitations doesn’t make you weaker; it empowers you to lean on others and build more balanced partnerships.
• Key Question to Reflect On: What are my strengths, and how can I use them to move past the fears or limitations I’ve identified?

2. Personal Growth and Sustainability: The Ongoing Journey

Leadership is not a one-time act; it’s an ongoing commitment to growth. This phase of self-leadership emphasizes prioritizing progress over perfection and balancing self-care with continuous development.

• Progress Over Perfection: The pursuit of perfection is often paralyzing. Self-leadership requires us to shift our mindset to focus on consistent progress. Small, deliberate actions compound over time to create significant transformation.
• Prioritizing Self-Care: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Resilience isn’t about never breaking; it’s about building the practices and habits that allow you to recover stronger. Taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being is essential to sustaining your growth.
• Leaning Into Strengths: When you understand and play to your strengths, you naturally become more effective in everything you do. Strength-based leadership isn’t just good for you—it’s contagious. It inspires others to identify and lean into their strengths, too.
• Practical Exercise: Identify one area in your life where perfectionism holds you back. Set a specific goal focused on progress, not outcome.

3. Social Interaction and Influence: Shining Outwardly

Self-leadership doesn’t stop with personal growth; it extends into how we connect and influence the world around us.

• Building Meaningful Relationships: At its core, leadership is relational. Whether you’re leading a team or nurturing friendships, strong relationships require trust, open communication, and a genuine desire to uplift others.
• Using Your Voice and Being Seen: Self-leadership means stepping into your power and using your voice to advocate for yourself and others. It also means being visible—allowing your authentic self to shine through in a way that inspires those around you.
• Giving and Receiving Feedback: True self-leaders welcome feedback as a tool for growth and are intentional about providing it in ways that uplift and empower others. Feedback isn’t just about critique; it’s about connection.
• Key Question to Reflect On: How do my actions and words inspire trust and connection with those around me?

The Journey Never Ends

Self-leadership is a dynamic process, not a destination. “As we deepen our self-awareness, embrace sustainable growth, and foster meaningful relationships, we create a ripple effect that transforms not only our own lives but also the communities and organizations we’re part of,” Younger said. Self-leadership equips us with the resilience, adaptability, and purpose to navigate uncertainty and lead with confidence.

Kevin Kruse is the Founder + CEO of LEADx, scaling and sustaining leadership behaviors with behavioral nudges, micro-learning, and live cohort-based workshops. Kevin is also a New York Times bestselling author of Great Leaders Have No Rules, 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management, and Employee Engagement 2.0.

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